Part IV - Dinner

Posted on Wed Nov 20th, 2024 @ 2:24pm by Lieutenant JG Zai & Lieutenant Adrianna Baciami

1,017 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Stars Around the Well
Location: Adrianna's Quarters | USS Arcadia

ON:

"Yes but him coming back triggered the guilt of moving on, didn't it? Either way it's an unfounded guilt. I'm not sure if you will believe me but you have the right to be happy. Let me ask you. If one of your brothers was in your situation...and he came to you and said he felt horrible for moving on guilty for moving on when he thought an ending was final would you agree with them or smack them for being so nasty to themselves, for not believing they deserve happiness and for punishing themselves?"

She sighed. He was right. "I don't have many female friends. Certainly none on the ship and the men I know wouldn't dare hit me," she murmured, "I hear what you are saying though. I do. It is just difficult to comprehend. That and I think Jason got into my head. I hate to say it, but he was right about one thing: whilst it was never the intention, loving Vance was real. How we met, who I was-- it was a lie. I never once lied to Jason. I built my career on lying to Vance. So, when it came down to it-- the idea that I was cheating on him. Madonna, it sounds like a leap, but in my head it is not. But, I will take your point. Next?"

He knew she would think more on this and work it out. "Now the bell thing. That is something you should ask Vance about. I know for a fact that when we spoke earlier when he helped Zai back to his quarters I told him I was excited about the dinner he admitted that he was nervous. He was worried cause it was a double date and he didn't know if he should bring flowers or not and he went through like so many questions I felt like throwing water at him and saying calm down man!" He laughed. "Plus he promised your brother to be a gentleman and entering your quarters without ringing when you are not in fact married or staying here even...he's petrified that your family won't approve of him so he won't stay here if you asked him to and the chime thing was him overthinking, I'm pretty sure."

"Men are stupid," she muttered, "no offence." She took a breath, "someone should tell him that this isn't a double date though. It is just food. No agenda-- well, other than fattening you all up and checking in on Zai. I was going to beat him for setting off PTSD for rigging an explosive in my office, but it can wait. He looks like he's suffering enough." She sat up and looked at him, "if we're being completely honest-- that day you called me because Zai didn't check in with you-- he wasn't ok. Frankie asked me to lie-- he had it in hand-- and frankly, you needed to recover."

He sighed. "Yeah I know. I cornered my brother and seeing Zai...well I can tell he was trying to keep how bad this is from me." He sighed. "But I'm not mad. Honestly. He's really sick though. I'm scared it will get a lot worse. The Soul Weaver I spoke with told me it will and frankly we can't do anything about it until he reaches that stage. I'm ... so mad at myself because I triggered this for him." He sighed.

"You might feel mad now-- but consider what is actually happening-- bigger picture," she replied, "you may be mad, but I wouldn't regret it if I were you." She stood up and offered her hand to Sabastian, although knew that he'd probably pull her down if he used her hand to get up. "Think I'll be safe feeling literally anything more at dinner?"

He smiled and got up. "Let's get back to things now but when you have time and when you are ready I want to tackle the Jason thing with you. I think I can shed some light there too."

She felt herself feel a twinge of fear again, "I'm sure that karma will catch up to him. He'll get help and not do stuff like he did again. It was a one off." It was like she was trying to convince herself, but it wasn't just the once-- the man was dangerous. "I just need to forget him and stick with my present and future."

"One step at a time but we will revisit that topic until we do can I ask you to ponder something?"

She nodded, "can try, but do not be surprised if I avoid you to avoid topic. There is a reason why I do not go to counsellors."

"You're a department head right?"

"Correct," she looked confused, trying to work out where he was going with this.

"If someone under your command went through what you did and said it was all their fault what would you say to them? Just think about it, okay?"

Adrianna looked at the floor. She knew that he was right in what he was asking her to think on, but she just didn't have the courage to accept it just yet. She felt responsible for him breaking. She gestured to the door, "andiamo-- before food gets cold."

"Prepare a speech of what you would tell that person. Stand in front of a mirror and repeat that speech until it sinks through." He held her gaze. "Do it as many times as it takes for it sink in." He paused as he looked into her eyes. "That's what helped me when I was where you are." He turned and walked away.

Adrianna hesitated for a few moments but soon followed him out, sitting back down. She felt a little embarrassed and, perhaps, guilty at 'ruining' dinner, but she quickly pulled herself together and relaxed, finding her intel training kicking back in. "I'm still surprised that you survived meeting my brother," she broke the silence, shifting to a neutral topic, "tell me-- is he starting to turn grey yet?"

OFF:

 

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