Part II - Dinner

Posted on Wed Nov 20th, 2024 @ 2:03am by Lieutenant JG Zai & Lieutenant Adrianna Baciami

1,179 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Stars Around the Well
Location: Adrianna's Quarters |USS Arcadia

ON:

The woman felt a little guilty about not inviting him to move in. The truth of the matter was that the couple may have once been almost married, but they only shared a bed once and it wasn't like that. Things felt different now though, and she was tempted to offer. Her emotions seemed to be seeping through-- guilt, nerves but overarching was just pure love and joy at Vance merely entering the room.

Zai, who was barely containing his own emotions looked up at Adrianna. "What happened? why do you feel so guilty and an nervous. Vance is back now...I don't understand." He looked at Vance. "Did you do something?"

Adrianna looked to Zai and blushed, wondering if she had heard him right, "sorry?" Her emotions only got more intense though from being out on the spot.

"What's wrong, your emotions are all over the place. Giovanni seems to think that it's a bad sign. Best way is to talk about them. They are very loud." He leaned his head on Sabastian's shoulder as if to ground himself.

Adrianna opened her mouth as if to protest, but shut it. Giovanni did everything in his power to get her back on track after spiraling depression. Even the therapist had said that someone in intel no longer being able to fool an empath was not a good thing. She took a breath, "and you think I'm feeling guilty and nervous about something?"

"Amongst other things." He looked at Vance. "I mean you are happy that he is here, pure joy but it's like you can't let yourself enjoy that. You're letting other elements weigh in and your emotions are in chaos...it's like there is a well of sadness and negative emotions that is twisting and spilling slightly but wants to spill out and like you are working to stop it from spilling out." He sighed. "You are avoiding the shadow self and yet your fear of it is causing it to come out."

She gulped, looking down to her plate and then to Vance. Adrianna could feel all eyes on her. "I umm--" she took a breath. "I guess Gio clued Vance and Sabastian in on what happened in the weeks after Vance's death," she nodded as if speaking to herself, "Giovanni evidently found out that you were an empath and set about keeping an eye on me."

She rubbed the bridge of her nose, thinking, "so now you want to out me in the middle of a dinner to thank you for your help with Vance. For what gain?"

"No. I want to make sure that you are well. I want to make sure you enjoy every happiness without the guilt. It's not your job to save everyone. You did it with Jason. We are all responsible for our actions and the consequences that arise. I need you to be okay." He sighed. "I need you to be happy and to let go of that which binds you in a prison of your own making. I need you to allow your soul to be validated."

The mention of Jason's name had her suddenly feeling fear. This time, she knew it though and glared at Zai for a moment, "that last emotion is justified-- are all of my emotions not justified?"

She reached out and sipped her wine, hoping to take the edge off. Adrianna took a breath, "fine: I have never had a man act as Jason did when I wasn't armed, I just felt this pull-- like I couldn't defend myself with Jason. I have no issues in putting anyone in their place but I felt like I deserved what happened for breaking his heart so unapologetically."

"Then, I was holding out hope for Vance to return, getting this weird feeling on the pit of my stomach-- like I cheated on him. Even though nothing happened-- we kissed that was it. Yet I feel the need to make up for it, because-- get this, every kiss I shared with Jason, every date that I went on with Jason, everything-- I dated Jason because he reminded me, in part, of Vance-- right down to him promising me early retirement. And that makes me feel more guilty for many reasons."

"Oh, but if you want to fast forward to the now," she could feel herself laying out all the emotions, speaking quicker and quicker, her eyes focusing on Zai and nothing and no-one else, "before you got here, Vance let himself in. But when he returned after a shower, he sounded the chime. Which hurts a little because I don't know what it means and-- to be fair-- it probably means nothing and I'm over thinking, which Vance tells me I shouldn't do unless I'm in a card game whilst drinking."

"Following that, hearing that he's sharing quarters, si-- makes me guilty for not asking him to move in. But the truth is-- we weren't that kind of couple. We didn't sleep together--barely kissed, which then made me spiral for other reasons. Things are different now-- I want to make up for old time, but it's not something-- I wouldn't know where to begin or even bring it up. And yet, I don't want to bring it up because we aren't exactly picking up where we left off, we're a few steps back."

"In terms of the happiness though-- absolutely. I got my soulmate back. And sure, it means a day of ache from where I had to get a tattoo removed, and I still need to cover up one that is there still because he's not dead, but I need the right amount of tallies, but that is a good problem to have and -- tell anyone that I have tattoos and I will kill you."

Adrianna put both her hands on the table and stood up, "excuse me. I need a moment to breathe." She walked away other bedroom allowing the door to shut behind her, breathing, trying to compose herself, not wanting this meal to be ruined because she couldn't stay sane in front of an empath.

There was a tap at the door but it wasn't Zai, or Vance. Sabastian had asked to go and speak with her. He stood there now waiting. "Adrianna, It's Sabastian. Can I come in?"

Adrianna slid down the wall and sat on the floor, she softly replied, "fine."

Sabastian entered. Seeing her he sat down beside her. "That was a lot huh?" He sighed. "Gods I don't envy you. It is a lot to take in but I can understand you and why your mind and emotions are in Chaos. I can understand better then you think. I think that we are similar, you and I. We tend to bottle trying to solve our own problems. Part of it is not knowing who to trust and the other part is maybe an unconscious need to prove we're strong enough. But in the end it does all boil over, doesn't it?"


To Be Continued...

 

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