Part I - Something to Say
Posted on Wed Oct 30th, 2024 @ 1:46pm by Lieutenant JG Zai
1,047 words; about a 5 minute read
Mission:
Stars Around the Well
Location: Starbase 2 | Various Locations
ON:
Sabastian had never felt more content then in this moment. He was in his quarters with the man he loved snuggled up to him. Zai had finished his coffee and the two had naturally gravitated towards one another. Now Zai had his head on Sabastian’s shoulder and Sabastian had his arms around Zai.
As Zai had told Lee Fang earlier he was a being that needed Skinship, a phrase Sabastian first heard from Zai back at the academy when he’d commented on the closeness of Zai and Lee. Betazoids had something similar but it was called by a different name.
It was physical affection in the forms of hand holding, cuddling, hugging, even kisses but in a non intimate relationship setting a deep friendship really. A strange concept to most humans but not to the Betazoids, who were also empaths. The truth was empaths needed healing after coming into contact with so many people and situations through the day and touch and care and physical affection was one way for an empath to heal their soul.
“Zai can I ask you something?”
“Hmmm.”
“I know that this, closeness, this contact is important to you. Skinship, you called it ...but when you’re on the ship…”
Zai sat up. “Will I continue to have this with Lee Fang?”
Sabastian gave a nod. “Yeah.”
Zai thought a moment. “No, I don’t think so. I wasn’t telling a lie earlier when I told him that being close to him left me feeling happy in the moment but drained. There is a concept amongst my people that says some entities, or rather some beings are energy vampires be it consciously or unconsciously. They give you a false sense of security and wellbeing but when you part you feel drained as if all your energy has flowed into the other person. I sometimes think that with him and our closeness I am left feeling like that. Which is not saying he's doing it on a conscious level. Some beings just require healing and Empaths provide it naturally." He paused. "But....with you…it’s different. I could live years on just an hour of hugging you. These moments will only be yours from now on." Zai paused again lost in his mind for a few moments. "I hope that I don't feel you leaving drained. I must admit that my... emotional needs at the moment are great and I am afraid that I would take your energy I do not wish to leave you feeling exhausted.
Sabastian felt a lump form in his throat. “Oh Zai, you don't. I cherish every moment with you and all I feel is happiness and peace." He paused. "About Lee...Yo..You don’t have to…”
Zai looked into his eyes. “My promise to you. I was serious. I feel different with you and honestly Fang has been the only one that I felt emotions for since I was young I have to question if its real. I have to ask is it love or a weird form of negative emotional cycle where I need him and he needs me and it’s need not love and we’ve convinced ourselves that it’s love and not just a need. It seems like a vicious cycle that we can't break.”
“Codependency, Darling.”
“Yes. I have heard that phrase.” Zai laid his head back on Sabastian’s shoulder. “There is so much I want to talk to you about.”
He smiled as his arms tightened around Zai. “Tell me, you can talk to me about anything.”
Zai sighed. “Gods I don’t think I can talk about all this so early.”
Sabastian laughed. “Then how about we go out and have a great day. We can talk tonight.”
Zai gave a nod.
“Good go shower change and I’ll get breakfast ready.”
Zai placed a kiss on Sabastian’s shoulder before he got up and headed out.
Sabastian sat there a long moment just focusing on the place where Zai's lips had touched his shoulder, his silver eyes filling with tears. In that instant he felt as if the Goddess of Betazed had heard his prayers. In the span of a few days so much had changed. He almost felt scared that it was an illusion or that he'd been in some sort of accident and this was a dream. He heard the shower running and then got up. Breakfast, he would focus on that and live in the moment. If this was a dream...Sabastian hoped that he would never wake from it.
Breakfast had been consumed and the dishes done. Both Sabastian and Zai had showered and changed and were sipping a second round of coffee on the sofa. The conversation had naturally lulled and there were no awkward silences yet Zai had much on his mind.
Sabastian smiled. "You always get so quiet when you have something to say that you think the other person will not like."
Zai shook his head as he took a sip of coffee. "Am I that obvious?"
"To me, yes." Sabastian smiled. "So...what is it you wish to say that you fear will upset me...or rather that I won't take well."
Zai looked at Sabastian. "There is something I wanted to talk about. I mean I'm feeling...exhausted by all the emotions and revelations and everything that has happened with Lee Fang and just life, honestly, but I did want to talk about this face to face."
Sabastian leaned over and placed his cup on the coffee table. He folded his right leg onto the sofa turning at an angle where he could better see Zai. "Okay, I'm ready. Hit me with it."
Zai smiled lowering his head slightly. "Are you sure? After you hear it you may not like me anymore."
Sabastian laughed. "I Seriously doubt that. Just take a moment and collect your thoughts. I will be ready to listen when you are ready to talk and nothing, I mean nothing, you say will change my mind about you Zai."
He smiled his lavender eyes shining. He reached out and took Sabastian's hand. "Okay. Here goes..."
To Be Continued...
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