Promise to Try - Part II

Posted on Sun Oct 27th, 2024 @ 1:59pm by Lieutenant Fang Lee & Lieutenant JG Zai

1,404 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Stars Around the Well
Location: Sickbay | USS Arcadia

ON:


“However,” Zai said smiling at Fang’s reaction. “My relationship with Sabastian is far from over.”

“What? WHAT RELATIONSHIP!”

Zai winced. “Don’t yell. Just what I said. My relationship. He is a dear friend but I have known for a long time he has wanted more. Perhaps it is time I explore that. I mean I would like to have a partner by my side.”

Fang’s eyes widened. “You have me!”

Zai grinned. “Yes, a best friend.”

Fang again crossed his arms across his chest. “Isn’t that enough?!”

“No Fang.”

“You don’t see me quick on finding a partner. I’m happy to be with my best friend, Zai.”

Zai studied him. “But you pine for someone on Capella. So you do wish to have a romantic relationship.”

Fang’s face turned bright red. “I….”

“I heard what you said to the Ops officer. You have no need of a relationship nor can you love anyone else. To you love is an obligation to who you left on Capella. You even admitted that if that person loved you and wished to be with you and you disliked them you would stay with them just because of a promise. Think on how unfair that would be to the person that loved you be they on Capella or not.”

Fang was silent.

Zai continued, “you wish to date nobody until you have proof that the person on Capella is okay and has survived he war that is still going on in a sense. So you have made yourself clear on that.” Zai pulled a chair up to the bio bed. “As you said you and I are friends, I am a friend soulmate on this life journey that will always be by your side but I wish to have an intimate partner of sorts. There is much we… must talk about in terms of our friendship but in terms of a partnership I think,” he paused. “That perhaps Sabastian is an option.”

Fang let out a growl. “He’s not an option!”

“Oh? Why?”

“He’s not your type!”

Zai chuckled. “I see.” He held Fang’s gaze. “What’s my type?”

“Tall!”

Zai smiled. “Sabastian is slightly taller then you.”

“Dark hair!”

“Which Sabastian has.”

“Beautiful eyes!”

“Which Sabastian has, his grey eyes are quite striking.”

“Someone who loves you.”

Zai grinned. “Like Sabastian.”

“Someone who knows you.”

“He knowns me quite well.”

“Not was well as me!” Fang sat up. He shifted so that his feet were dangling over the bio bed.

Zai sighed. "You would be surprised at how well he knows me."

"What the HELL..." Fang began and then took a breath lowering his voice. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means he knows my thoughts, fears, past."

"Still... I.... I know you better." Even though he said it there was uncertainty to his words.

“But you and I, as established, are friends. You do not love me, do you?” This was a change that Zai could find the truth.

“Of course…I …” Fang’s eyes widened. “I care for you you’re my friend.”

“But you don’t love me nor do you wish to start a romantic relationship with me.”

“For Fuuu…I mean for the love of the Gods.”

Zai raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Thank you for not cursing.” He paused. So there you have it.”

“Well…. can’t you get what you need from our friendship. I mean we’ve slept in the same bed. We…cuddle.”

Zai laughed. “You are just afraid of loosing your friend and the comfort that we share which I will admit upon further reflection is quite…intimate without being physically intimate in a … relationship sense.” He shrugged. “Perhaps too intimate. In any case I wish to try and find something more. Sabastian is a good candidate. I will explore it. Now, get better an get some rest. We have a lot to speak of if we are to repair our friendship.” He paused again. “If.” Zai turned to go.

Fang felt a wave of anger, fear, desperation. He leapt off the bio bed and grabbed Zai’s right arm. He spun him around keeping hold of Zai’s arm and bringing his other arm around Zai’s waist. “Zai wait…please.”

Zai looked up meeting Fang’s chocolate eyes, they had always reminded him of winter. The way the light hit them there were sparkling points that reminded Zai of marshmallows swimming inside a cup of hot chocolate.

He swallowed suddenly feeling breathless. He raised his left hand to Fang’s chest. “What is it.” He willed his heart to stop pounding but what struck him as odd was that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in this position or not…a few years ago, months, weeks maybe but today…he wasn’t sure.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to the Starbase.”

“To be with Sabastian Walker.”

“Yes, I will care for him tonight.”

“What about me?”

Zai felt Fang’s arm tighten around his waist and Zai could swear he felt dizzy…and confused as the distance he wanted yet at the same time his heart was hammering inside his chest. “Fang.” He whispered. “I should go.”

“Why?”

Zai shook his head. “B…because I promised him.”

“What about me. I need someone to care for me.”

“The doctor is letting you out soon and you are fine.”

“I need … I need you to care for me.”

As much as Zai longed to hear those words the ones Fang had said to the Ops person and then admitted to saying hurt. He looked away. “No, you don’t. You have someone waiting to care for you on Capella right?”

“Zai… I…”

Zai could feel sweat forming on his lip as Fang moved in closer. His face a breath away his eyes holding Zai’s. “Fang I…”

“Stay, Zai. Please stay with me.”

It was whispered from full rosy lips, ones Zai had been fascinated by for a long time but as much as he wanted to see where this would go he asked could he trust Fang after all that he’d said. And there was the image of Sabastian that formed in his mind and a feeling like he needed to be there, not here.

He gently pushed out of Fang’s grasp. “I need to go. You should get back to the bio bed.

Fang watched Zai leave. “Zai…Zai! Bao Bei!”

Zai hurried out of sickbay and as the doors hissed closed he closed his eyes pressing himself against the wall. His heart threatened to explode out of his chest but not from excitement but an ache from Fang’s earlier words and his contradictory actions now. Another second and their lips would have met this time not as some dare from drunken friends but perhaps something else…but was it just desperation? Fear of loss of status quo? What was it for Fang. For Zai it wasn’t a game, not anymore.

His heart ached and he slid down to the ground using it to steady his emotions. Walking away had hurt, badly, but Fang didn’t love him. He’d given him a chance even now to say something more but Fang had not.

“But you and I, as established, are friends. You do not love me, do you?”

“I care for you you’re my friend.”

That was it he cared for him as a friend. It was suddenly hard to get air into his lungs. He rubbed his chest and forced himself to his feet. “I can be strong.” It was a mantra he would need to repeat all the way back to the station after a quick stop in his quarters to grab a few items.


As Zai left Fang watched the door close. He waited a minute, two, five for Zai to come back but he didn’t. Fang sank to the floor of sickbay and slammed his fist on the ground. Pain, fear, anger, sadness all warring for supremacy inside him. The necklace that hung on his chest growing ever colder. This was what Shariel had said. Dark times. This was the beginning. Would he loose Zai? What about Xingtian…his head was splitting, his heart was aching and so Fang did something he rarely did. He cried.

OFF:

 

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