Deep Conversations - Part II

Posted on Sat Oct 26th, 2024 @ 7:25pm by Lieutenant Adrianna Baciami & Lieutenant JG Zai

1,222 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Stars Around the Well
Location: Observation Deck | USS Arcadia

ON:

She looked back to Zai, for a moment she had let her guard drop and she knew that he'd be able to feel it: an anxiety mixed with a sense of impending doom; sadness mixed with a self hatred. So many emotions. She cleared her throat and shook her head, "anyway-- not why I'm here. Well-- the engineers being safe from Jason was one of the reasons." She chuckled softly, allowing herself to be entertained a little.

He snorted. "Yeah he was no threat trust me." He sighed. He'd sensed her emotions, all the ones that he mirrored. "I know how you feel." He said. "Trust me I do. As for your safety I want to clarify. You were never in danger. I told him who you were but if he'd reacted any other way I would have made sure you were okay. I mean I get what your job was and honestly Vance was always happy when things went belly up. At heart his choice of work was his bitterness for washing out of the Academy. As for him being not happy about the date that's on him to figure out why. If it's love that hasn't faded he'll fight for you. If it's familiarity then by the Gods! He doesn't deserve your love or guilt because love by obligation or familiarity is not love it's...destruction it's having your heart ripped out and shredded before your eyes..." His voice broke. "It's not love," he said after a minute.

"Oh, cucciolo," she rested her head on his shoulder in a moment of letting her walls down. She let herself relax for a moment, "friends do not let friends do stupid things."

She paused, "Vance called because he remembered something about you-- about Fang. Cucciolo, you know that the person Fang is talking-- the one their heart belongs to-- it's you?"

He sighed. He wasn't surprised. He'd tried to find those journals after Vance was in the hospital. He knew Vance recorded everything meticulously. He should have gone into Starfleet records. "So you know who I really am. The last son of Tier Xalarian king of the Eleventh tribe. The unwanted son." He hadn't thought about it. "The only son left alive after Fang's tribe got through with us. I was...so angry with him when he left Earth. I thought he'd sent someone to kill me that day, that he'd lied...I swore revenge and even hired Vance to help but that man would laugh at me every time I fell into my own trap. He'd say the reason I did that was that my love for him was stronger then my hate. In a sense that was true. Then I found out that it was not in fact Fang but the Klingon. I felt so guilty for hating him but then I never truly did I'd always loved him and even when I thought he'd betrayed me I figured out the reason I pursued him was because I wanted to be near him even if he hated me enough to send that imposter officer after me." He sighed. "Pathetic right?"

"You may be losing as someone else, but to me, you'll be Zai-- just Zai," she smiled, "I destroyed all of Vance's journals, sorry. I did make a digital back up. Vance has it. It's really helping him piece his life together." She paused, "it's not pathetic, cucciolo. You claim to be this match-maker -- a true romantic. For once, look to yourself. You need to tell Fang. If for nothing more than to get it off of your chest. All of this is killing you and you, my friend, deserve happiness too."

He sighed. "Can I tell you something. I know you dislike Sabastian but...when Fang graduated, a year ahead of me, and left for the Sakura. I was so depressed. I stopped eating, drinking. I was close to just fading. Sabastian, who'd been in love with me from the beginning dragged my butt to the med center. I think he said I was in a coma for a few days they said I'd never wake up. He mind melded with me. Helped me from a dark place. He saved my life, he knew who I was why I was there and he'd always supported me. He didn't hide who he was or how he felt but understood my feelings towards Fang. He was even rooting for me although it hurt him. I've always felt how unfair that was to him. Maybe I should say my peace in a sense and just...give Sabastian a chance. I don't love him but don't I owe it to him and myself to try?"

He sighed. "Even saying all that I feel like a horrible person."

"Honestly?" Ade shook her head, "I am too biased to give you that answer. Equally, I'm too much in the merde with my own love life to even think about offering advice, what I will say is this: tell Fang. Tell him who you are. In terms of Sabastian-- cazzone of a man-- but Sabastian-- you and I both know that you cannot force love. If it's not there, it's not there. But you need to tell Fang. You won't be able to move on until you're completely honest with him. You'll even lose Fang as a friend."

He smiled. "That's still pretty good advice." He sighed. "Thanks." Zai placed his head on her shoulder. "You really have to try the zero G here when we do maintenance. It will help you overcome your fear and it clears the mind."

"Every time I come across something that scares me, I pretend I'm back to being undercover," she chucked, "Vance still doesn't know I'm scared of heights or the dark."

"We'll get you through it!" He smiled. "Now then. Shall we go for coffee?"

"It's not a coffee day," she simply replied, "it's a wallow in self pity drink kind of day. Either way, I have work to do, your highness." There was a slight teasing to the title that she called him, but she had lowered her voice to not arise any suspicion. "Talk to Fang. Sooner rather than later. This isn't my secret to tell-- so I cannot intervene this time. Although-- I admit-- I did enjoy smacking him round the head. Literally. So if you ever want me to beat him up again-- assume it's a si from me."

He looked at her. "You smacked him? When did this happen?"

"After you left me with him on base," she smirked, "I can get footage if you want."

He smiled. "Ohhh yes please. I'll trade you two bottles of finest Engineering hooch." He smiled. "Thanks." He said. "I really mean it."

"Actually," she hesitated, "can you check in on Vance. Man to man. I need to know he's ok."

"Will do." He gracefully stood up and offered her his hand. "Well then. Shall we get off the bridge then?"

"Merde-- si, get me away from this drop," she chuckled and used his hand to get up. She was not too proud to not take an offered hand, "if I don't let you do stupid things-- you don't let me do stupid things too ok? Especially if Vance is involved."

He laughed. "Agreed."

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