Ghosts of the Past - Part IV

Posted on Wed Nov 13th, 2024 @ 12:19am by Lieutenant Fang Lee & Lieutenant Lanna Alexander

1,227 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Stars Around the Well
Location: Observation deck & Arboretum | USS Arcadia
Timeline: Day 3 after leaving Base

ON:

Fang sat on the floor of the observation room. His mind was spinning. Zai, Xingtian. Zai was Xingtian... it was a hard concept to grasp. It felt like his world was falling apart.

“I’m sorry Fang” Lanna sat alongside her friend, she hated to see him like this. She knew that Zai was Xingtian but she hadn’t been able to tell Fang. “I can only imagine how it must feel finding out this way.”

He shook his head. "All this time...why didn't I see it?"

“I don’t know Fang” Lanna offered an understanding gaze. “Time has a way of changing us all, and it’s obvious Xingtian has changed since you knew him.”

Fang closed his eyes. "What he went through. I...I really tried to get to him but the Starfleet officers wouldn't let me off the ship. I tried." He thought back to all these years. "In the end he came to me and...I... I lost him."

Lanna wished she could offer something that would make Fang feel better, but she knew it wasn’t that simple. “The two of you need to clear the air, to get the truth out and say what you need to say. I know it’s not going to be easy.”

He shook his head. Slowly he stood up. "I think I need to be in the arboretum." It was when he was close to nature that he thought best.

“Then I’ll come with you” Lanna smiled as she stood up to accompany Fang. “You know me I love the Arboretum.”

They walked in silence and arrived at the arboretum. When there he went straight for the tree where he'd preformed the ceremony of remembrance. There he sat down with his back against the tree as if trying to absorb strength from it. It was something he did as a kid.

Finally after a while he spoke. "I'm a coward. All these years."

Lanna shook her head. “If I’ve learned one thing about you Fang, it’s that you’re no coward. As far as you knew Xingtian was either dead or missing, you wouldn’t have learned any different.”

"All these years I was torn between Zai and Xingtian...trying to not want either in my life but wanting both. I mean I love Zai, I do. I have...thought of being with him so many times but knowing what I know and how now confirmed about his people and the metamorphosis...I had to be careful so I tried to keep him at a distance but...I didn't want to let him go. Does that make me a horrible person?"

“No, not at all.” Lanna shook her head. “Your heart was still with Xingtian, you didn’t want to hurt Zai by starting something you couldn’t finish, but now you know the truth, and Zai... Xingtian has moved on to someone else.” She sighed. “I hate to see the two of you at odds, but maybe we can at least get you back to a state of friendship.”

He shrugged. "I don't know. He's been so hurt by my actions that I just don't know." He sighed. "In a sense...I feel a bit relieved."

“That doesn’t surprise me” Lanna offered an understanding nod of her head. “No more secrets to hide, you know what happened to Xingtian.”

"There is that. I could never live properly unless I knew what happened to him. To be honest I could have found out sooner but I relied on Starfleet to search for him. Part of me believed I deserved to be stuck in limbo for leaving Capella for surviving." He shrugged. "Then when I met Zai at the Academy I let myself get close but always kept him at a distance. I used Xingtian as an excuse and then when I thought I would let myself fall completely I remembered the Metamorphosis thing and I pulled away from Zai." He sighed. "I mean I guess it's good I did cause Sabastian seems to be the person who is for Zai...Xingtian..." He waved a hand. "You know what I mean. It's like I could never have Xingtian fully because he wasn't meant for me...I mean I'm sad and broken but... a part of me thinks maybe I can move on."

“That’s a good thing, just be sure what you want before you make any big steps” Lanna offered a caring smile. “Will Zai... will he be alright? This metamorphosis it worries me as I don’t fully understand it.”

He sighed. "I don't know it fully. My uncle married into his tribe and I know that if the ceremony is performed in time then yes. But if not...he could die. Each tribal leader and their family is told a little about this because the eleventh tribe is a bit different from ours. From what my uncle has said the time between the triggering and the ceremony is a painful one. It's like your cells are changing from the inside out and or getting ready to change and he told me it can be painful."

Lanna nodded. “So will how he looks change? Zai did mention that Sebastian will also experience it even though he’s not Capellan. It’ll be my job to support them so I need every bit of information I can get. Though I don’t want to burden you with this either.”

"I honestly don't know much. But...I don't like this ticking clock and as much as Zai assures me it's fine I don't like it. I'd rather they get this ceremony over with." He sighed. "As far as change yea. Both will change. I remember my aunt the woman from Zai's tribe had this flame red hair and these lavender eyes. She was a rarity amongst the tribe. Most of Zai's tribe have dark hair. Anyway they had some ceremony with a soul reader and soul weaver...these weavers were rarely seen only soul readers saw them. They married and literally when I saw them next her hair was white as snow and her eyes were not lavender but deep purple almost glowing like amethyst crystals. As for my uncle who had golden hair his hair was black as night almost indigo blue black and his eyes went from hazel to amber and glowing. They both looked like they had gone through a reboot and they looked younger. My uncle had always had a limp that was gone. It was... a transformation that my people hadn't seen and I think it scared a lot of them so they demonized Zai's people."

Lanna nodded. “I see, that’s fascinating. Complete genetic change how amazing, but like you said the sooner the ceremony can be done the better.”

He sighed. "I feel exhausted." He did. As if he'd run a marathon. "I think I need some time to myself."

“Of course” Lanna nodded. “Would you like me to walk back with you, or are you staying here?”

He sighed. "I need to meditate and connect with the source. This has been...a long day."

They parted ways and Fang headed to his quarters feeling drained and tired. This was not what he expected but then it was what he was dealt.

OFF:

 

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