Confession of a Future

Posted on Tue Feb 4th, 2025 @ 6:54pm by Lieutenant Adrianna Baciami

1,864 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Stars Around the Well
Timeline: Past

A few days had passed since her late-night confrontation with Lutz, but Adrianna hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that something had shifted. The air aboard the Pendragon felt… different.

And then Vance started taking her on runs.

Just her.

No Lutz, no Mags, no other crew– just the two of them slipping into the black, destination known only to him. At first, she convinced herself it was a coincidence– a fluke because the runs were low risk, high reward. She knew that Vance favoured her. But by the third solo run out of five runs, as she sat beside him on the bridge, watching him pilot with that easy, unconscious confidence of his, she knew better. In the two runs with the crew, Lutz had kept his end of the bargain, as had she, but there seemed to be tension amongst the crew. Perhaps a jealousy that they were missing out on big paydays.

Something was amiss.

She’d spent years learning to read people, and Vance– her Vance– was playing something close to the chest.

She watched him carefully, tracking the way he was too casual, too relaxed, like he was trying to put her at ease but she was far from at ease. She was waiting for the hammer to drop.

"You’ve been quiet," he remarked, not looking away from the controls.

Adrianna tilted her head slightly, "Just thinking."

He hummed, "Dangerous habit."

She allowed herself a small, amused smirk, "You’d know."

A comfortable silence settled between them for a moment before she decided to test the waters. "What’s with these little excursions, Capitano?" she asked lightly, "Decided I make better company than the rest of your crew?"

Vance didn’t answer immediately. He adjusted a setting, flicked a few switches, then leaned back in his seat, finally turning to meet her gaze. "Yeah," he said simply. "I did."

Adrianna narrowed her eyes slightly, "Just like that?"

"Just like that," he confirmed. He watched her, unreadable as ever, but there was something weighty in his gaze, "I wanted time with you. Just us."

Her stomach tightened.

This was too sudden. Too deliberate. He was up to something– had to be. Maybe he knew. Maybe he had found out about Lutz’s secret dealings, or even about her true identity. Maybe this was his way of testing her to see if she would slip– if she would confess.

She held his gaze, "Why?"

Vance exhaled, rolling his shoulders like he was shaking off an invisible weight. "Because I want to see where this goes," he admitted, "You and me. No distractions. No crew watching. Just us."

She blinked, "You’re serious?"

"As a warp core breach."

Adrianna stared at him, searching for cracks, for an edge of deception. But if this was a game, he was playing it flawlessly if it was indeed a game.

"You could have just asked me to dinner," she said dryly.

Vance smirked, "Where’s the fun in that? Dinner does not test how you are under pressure; dinner doesn't show me how you are to live with; dinner doesn't show me how you react when things don't go your way."

She shook her head, leaning back in her seat, trying to ignore the way her pulse thrummed at his words.

He wanted her.

Not as a crew member, not as part of a mission– just her.

And she had no idea whether that made things easier… or so much worse.

Adrianna exhaled slowly, forcing herself to think past the warmth his words sent through her. This was dangerous– more dangerous than any firefight, any undercover mission. This was too close– and real. She wasn’t sure she could afford ‘real’ when she had yet to come up with a foolproof plan on how to make this work that satisfied her longing for home, Starfleet and him.

"As fun and sweet as that sounds, amore mio," she said carefully, "we still need a crew. Just the two of us out here? It’s reckless. Not to mention that I see the way the crew is looking at this– you're taking paydays away from them by favouring me."

Vance arched a brow, "Since when did you get so cautious?"

"Since I realised I enjoy breathing," she shot back with a slight chuckle, before clarifying her point further, "Two people alone on runs? That’s a target– an accident waiting to happen. You know that as well as I do."

Vance studied her for a long moment, then let out a slow breath, tilting his head back slightly. "You always do this," he muttered, almost to himself.

Adrianna frowned. He had always valued her opinion in the past, "Do what?"

"This," he gestured vaguely between them, "The moment we get too close, you pull back. You start talking about risk, about practicality, about how we shouldn’t do this." His voice softened, but there was something firm underneath. "I’m tired of this dance, Reggimi."

She swallowed, "Vance–"

"I’ve made up my mind," he interrupted, turning to face her fully now, "I want something real. With you. No games, no second-guessing." His voice dropped, raw and open in a way that made her chest tighten, "I’m starting to see a future, because of you and I cannot picture it without you."

Adrianna’s breath caught.

A future.

It was one thing to be drawn to each other in stolen moments, to pretend they were just running alongside each other for now. But this? This was dangerous in a way she hadn’t been prepared for.

She was meant to have a mission. She was meant to stay focused, meant to keep her heart out of it.

But he was making that impossible.

He reached for her hand, fingers brushing against hers, grounding her in the moment. "I don’t want to keep wondering what this could be," he said quietly, "I want– I need to know."

Adrianna forced herself to breathe, her eyes desperately searching his, with her mind spiralling out of control. He was looking at her like she was the only thing in the universe that made sense. Because none of this made sense. And if he ever learned the truth…

She swallowed hard, knowing she was already too deep. Adrianna had screwed up and now was in a lose-lose position.

"Vance…" Her voice was barely above a whisper, "You don’t know what you’re asking."

His grip tightened slightly, warm and solid, "Yes, I do."

And the worst part?

She believed him.

Adrianna's heart broke. She couldn't keep lying to him; she couldn't tell him the truth. She wanted to be with him; she couldn't be with him if he knew. She loved him; she wasn't allowed to love him.

She broke eye contact with him for a moment, a guilt rising up in her. Conflict was eating at her, her heart and head disagreeing. Adrianna knew that it would leave her forced into a position that would hurt in the long run:

She could tell him and risk losing him.
She could run and lose him but keep her job.
She could keep lying to him and live out her days as Reggimi but lose her family.

There was a fourth option, the only one that she could stomach for now: see this through and find a way to tell him the truth one day in the hopes that he would be so invested in her that he would forgive her.

It was a risk, but one that would buy her time.

“You really want to turn this from whatever this is to–” she struggled for the words, but finally settled on, “a true reason for me to call you amore mio?”

“Depends,” he smiled softly, trying to add humour to break the tension, “remind me what it translates to.”

She swatted him. He knew full well what it meant. She'd told him enough times. “You want us to actually admit and live with the fact that–”

“-- That we love each other,” he finished for her, “yes.”

Her cheeks blushed, her heart pounded and her mind silenced, her heart taking the reins with regards to her acceptance. “I would love nothing more, amore mio,” Adrianna leaned in and kissed his cheek, allowing her lips to linger there for just a moment, “but you need to promise me something.” She pulled away and gazed into his eyes.

“Name it.”

“No matter what happens, you understand and truly believe that my feelings are mine alone.”

Vance sat back in his chair, studying her. It was an odd thing to request. Perhaps there was a loss in translation. “Deal, but you have to promise me something,” he replied.

Adrianna nodded for him to continue.

“I’ve known that you're it for me– for a long time. I never explained how, and not will I tell you, but regardless of our promises to each other after one of our own lost their memories, I need you to know that I will love you in any lifetime– no matter what that life looks like,” he paused and took a breath, “I'm going to go off the grid for a little while when we get back from this run– don't worry, it's not business.”

She went to ask questions but he silenced her by continuing, “I need to know that you'll wait for me.”

Adrianna’s expression faltered a little. There was a mixture of emotions and a sense of duty that held her back in responding straight away. “Can I not come with you?” She asked.

He smiled and took a breath, “not this time. I need to return home and pick up some things from my home– my actual home on Earth.”

There was something he wasn't telling her. She'd have to obey his wishes though, not only for the sake of her cover but also for the sake of her own future with him. “I'll be on Freecloud waiting for you. Call me when you're back. I'll meet you in the usual bar. Just– just don't keep me waiting. Every time you do, or the crew does, I get creepy people hitting on me,” she chuckled.

“A month at most,” he smiled, “promise. It's just difficult for people like us to get to Earth– warrants in place and all.”

Adrianna nodded her understanding before breaking the tension, “you shouldn't be such a naughty boy then.”

“We can't all flirt our ways out of situations, Adri,” he grinned.

“You could charm your way out of anything, amore mio,” she chuckled, before finally agreeing, “I will wait for you, Vance– for forever if I have to. I will pick up other jobs though. I'm sure you understand. I'm loyal to you and the Pendragon, but a girl's got to eat.”

He seemed to study her for longer than necessary. Clearly Vance wasn't telling her something, but he'd agree. “Alright, just don't work with Jim– he still owes me money,” he finally agreed.

She smirked, “If I do, I'll charge him triple, which should cover what he owes you.”

“That's my girl.”

 

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