Not Giving Up

Posted on Sun Nov 3rd, 2024 @ 10:42pm by Lieutenant Commander Jason Frankley & Lieutenant Adrianna Baciami

1,243 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Stars Around the Well

Jason squared his shoulders as he approached Adrianna’s quarters, doing his best to ignore the tight knot of nerves in his stomach. He told himself it didn’t matter if she’d been clear before– he had to give this one more shot, for his own peace of mind if nothing else.

When he rang the chime, it felt like an eternity before the door slid open. Adrianna stood in the doorway, poised and unreadable, her face a perfect mask.

“Frankley,” she greeted, her tone firm, guarded.

“Hey, Adrianna,” he replied, trying to keep his voice steady. “I know you’re busy, but I wanted a chance to talk to you.”

She crossed her arms, not moving from the doorway. “I thought we’d said all there was to say.”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But I feel like I left things… unfinished.”

Her gaze turned colder, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Jason, we’ve been over this. I’m in need of space. My heart is not yours.”

His throat tightened, but he forced himself to nod, his expression still determined. “I know you’ve chosen him– Vance, but I can’t walk away from this without letting you know how I feel. I get that you love him, but… I love you, Adrianna. And I’d do whatever it takes to prove that to you.”

She took a measured breath, her eyes narrowing. “This isn’t about proving anything, Jason. My feelings for you… they don’t compare to what I feel for Vance.” Her voice softened, but her expression remained resolute. “He’s the one I’ve pined for. When I thought he was gone, I tried to move on with you. But now that he’s back– I cannot let him go so easily.”

Jason swallowed hard, feeling her words hit like a blow to the gut. “So that’s it? You won’t even consider that things could be different?”

Her gaze didn’t waver, though he could see the tension in her shoulders. “I tried to make it clear, Jason. I care about you, but I’m not going to pretend that what we had could ever match what I feel for Vance. He’s… he’s part of me in a way I can’t explain.”

He searched her face, hoping to find something– some crack, some uncertainty. But all he found was certainty, a painful finality. “So I never really had a chance, did I?”

Adrianna’s expression softened for a fleeting moment, but she straightened, her voice steady. “You did have a chance, Jason. And I tried. I tried to open my heart to you, and maybe… maybe things could have been different if Vance hadn’t come back. But he did. And when he did, it was like everything I’d tried to put away came rushing back. Like I was grieving all over again–”

Jason looked away, his jaw clenched. The part of him that wanted to argue, to push, to convince her to give him another shot, began to fade. Instead, he felt a dull ache of acceptance settling in.

“If that’s how you feel,” he said quietly, struggling to keep the emotion from his voice, “then… I guess there’s nothing more to say. Nothing but–.”

Adrianna studied him, her face unreadable, but she didn’t stop him as he turned to go.

Jason clenched his fists, feeling a hot wave of anger flare up inside him, sharper and more intense than he’d expected– he didn't even have the excuse of alcohol. He’d come here hoping to be calm, to say his piece and let her go if that’s what she wanted. But hearing her so resolute, so unwilling to even consider what they had– it was too much.

“So that’s it?” he said, his voice rising despite his best efforts to stay level. “You’re just going to throw us away because he showed back up? After everything we shared? We had a real connect– one not built on lies or a mission.”

Adrianna’s eyes flickered with something between irritation and hurt, but she held her ground. “I’m not throwing anything away, Jason. I’m being honest with you. I can’t change how I feel.”

“Right, because it’s always been about him,” Jason snapped, unable to keep the bitterness from his tone. “No matter what I did, no matter how much I was there for you, it’s like he walks back into your life and I’m just… I’m just forgotten.”

She tensed, folding her arms tighter. “That’s not fair. I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. I didn’t ask for him to come back, Jason. I didn't ask to go through all of this.”

“But he did come back. And you just dropped me like it meant nothing!” Jason’s voice shook with a mixture of frustration and pain. “Do you even realise how real this was in comparison? I’d never leave you, faking my death. And yet you’re willing to just brush me aside because he waltzed back into your life?”

“You do not know what happened. You are assuming that you know what happened with him,” Adrianna’s jaw tightened, her gaze steady but defensive. “you know what? Merde! Frankley, that’s enough. This isn’t about who’s better or who did what. It’s about love. I love Vance, and that’s not going to change.”

Jason’s anger surged, and he stepped forward, lowering his voice but unable to hide the heat in his words. “You’re making a mistake, Adrianna. You’re choosing someone who doesn’t even know who he is half the time– he can’t give you what I can. I’m here. I’m right here, willing to be everything you need. I will not let you go without a fight.”

Adrianna’s expression was stony, but there was a glimmer of apprehension in her eyes now. She held her poker face, but he could tell his anger was getting to her. Still, she didn’t back down. “Jason, please. This is only making it harder.”

He stared at her, feeling the urge to shout, to argue, to tear down every wall she’d built between them. But something in her face– something pained, almost afraid– made him pause. Taking a shaky breath, he stepped back.

“I will not give up on you so easily, Adrianna,” he warned, “I want you to know that.”

Without warning, he punched the wall, venting his frustration and then, without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and strode down the corridor, his heart pounding with frustration and hurt. It took every ounce of self-control he had to keep from looking back.

Adrianna stepped back into her quarters, allowing the door to close. She slid down the wall, letting out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. Perhaps she should have let Fang transfer him off the ship.

Either way, she reached up and sent a message to Fang, outlining what had happened– well… sort of. She merely said a crewmate had a bit of a rage episode and dented the wall. She spotted it on the way back to her quarters and that engineering may need to take a look. She claimed she couldn't work out who it was

 

RSS Feed